|TITLE: Esperanza, Envuelta (Hope, Enshrouded)|
ARTIST: Angelina Kendra, 2016
MATERIALS: cotton fabrics, thread, metal embellishments, silk
SIZE: 28.5 x 42"
|Shock. The world is shattered.|
|Denial. Floating through emptiness.|
|Anger. Pulsing and insistent.|
|Bargaining. Chaotic search for answers.|
|Depression. Mesmerizing depths.|
|Acceptance. A new normal.|
And finally, Kubler-Ross suggests that underlying the entire grieving process is:
|Hope. Still hiding in Pandora's box?|
“A human being can be good or bad or right or wrong, maybe. But how can you say a person is illegal? You just can't. That's all there is to it.”The matchstick quilting was a meditation. White machine noise to drown out the poisonous rage-filled accusations and nightmarish prophecies screaming through my mind...boring straight lines, made occasionally irregular when I couldn't focus through tears...thick black funereal border to enclose the whole thing and bind it to this hellscape of a moment in history.
The primary question that I have been asking myself over the past month is, What, exactly, am *I* grieving? I don't have a satisfying answer for this. Mostly I think I am grieving the loss of my own hope. My tenuous belief in the goodness of the people with whom I share a national identity. The end of my charade of a complacent suburban mom. My disgust is so profound I can taste it. I know that I will not be part of any "solution" to this schism, because I am not prepared to shine any beacon or hold anyone in the light or pray or wish for anything. I won't even waste my energy trying to have a civil conversation because I, quite literally, have NOTHING nice to say. And I won't be bothered learning a third language where words mean nothing and logic does not apply.
The best thing I have to hope for is a heaping helping of schadenfreude as 61 million delusional AmeriKKKans slowly realize they have just chosen a preeminent con man to preside over the rights-eroding, environment-despoiling, freedom-crushing disgrace that is about to unfold. No one deserves it more than they do.